Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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