You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
