Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
