She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
