Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
My pussy is not your playground.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
