I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Randomize
