We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
