Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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