he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
