Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
