She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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