I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
