i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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