She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
...so i touched it.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
