My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
