Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize