she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
