you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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