I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize