she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
