yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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