did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Randomize
