btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
