I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
