so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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