Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
