That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
