Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
