My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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