I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
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