I must be too annoying 4 u.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
