I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
