Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
