im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
