We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
