I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
