DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My ATM looks so different sober.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
