I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
