I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Fuck appropriateness.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
