if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
