He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The beer is more important than you right now.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
