Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
there is glitter all over my balls
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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