There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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