There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
