I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
