Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
