I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
