Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
