What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
