Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
