Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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