we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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