Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
