I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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