It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
