remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
