Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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