he wants to bone in the snuggie
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
