So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
